Becoming best friends before dating 100 dating site agent

Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.

We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony.

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We kept things friendly and fun rather than expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away.

By not overtly expecting sex, commitment, or even compatibility upfront, and instead focusing on just creating a series of fun, memorable experiences, we had implicitly set the precedent for a approach to dating.

This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.

Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.

I mentioned my predicament to Jessica, and she excitedly revealed that her good friend had just moved to the city I was visiting.

She quickly connected us via Facebook, where her friend and I immediately hit it off and subsequently spent the whole weekend together.Jessica later introduced me to yet another awesome friend in San Francisco, and once again, her friend and I ended up having amazing chemistry.Jessica and I met up as a friends, without any overt attempts at wooing, courting, or sleeping with one another. She came to understand my background story and my relationship goals and preferences ( talk about these things all the time), and I learned about hers.Using these insights, we both began introducing each other to awesome people within our respective friend groups, and have been doing so for years.The friendship-first approach centers around sharing fun and memorable experiences with the people we meet, and seeking to learn their stories and their preferences, free of any overtly sexual or romantic expectations.Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.

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