Book reviews kissed dating goodbye

, while certainly not the final word on the subject, is well worth reading and pondering.

Harris has rightly observed that our present dating scheme is froth with dangers.

Add to that the broken hearts, distracted minds, lopsided relationships and spiritual retardation that often accompanies dating, especially of the young, and you start to get a handle on the problem.

Harris' solution is to develop a different mindset.

He encourages young people to focus on family, friends and God.

Rather than giving in to the pressures of one-on-one dating he recommends socializing in small groups and family settings.

Rather than being distracted prematurely by romantic relationships he suggests concentration on the Lord, ministry and personal growth.

The author believes that commitment between a guy and a gal should not be pursued until marriage has become a real possibility.

At that point, he prescribes four stages to godly romantic relationships: causal friendship - deeper friendship - purposeful intimacy with integrity - engagement (pp.205ff).

Harris also calls for a "smart love" - one that constantly grows and deepens in its practical knowledge and insight; it opens our eyes to see God's best for our lives, enabling us to be pure and blameless in His sight.

The alternative is "dumb love" - choosing what feels good for me instead of what is good for others and what pleases God (pp. To all of this we say, "Amen." Nevertheless there are a number of questions, issues and problems that must be resolved if Harris' program is to be truly workable. In Harris' system a couple does not become serious with one another until they are ready for marriage.

The intermediate steps from causal friendship to engagement seem to me to be a real concern.

How does a couple know that they want to make a lifetime commitment to live together as one when they have never spent quality time alone?

Tags: , ,