oliver hudson dating - Confidential dating wakefield

Here are some things I didn't do this week: I didn't enter into a ridiculous internet war with someone who gave my self-published book a negative review.

Partly I didn't do this because I have never published any book, by myself or with the aid of an actual publishing house.

But mostly I didn't do it because I am not, in fact, BATSHIT INSANE. Take one shot anytime: • You think maybe the relationship between Liz and Jess borders on incestuous?

I didn't either, but it's totally true, according to Twitter. Cover story: It Gets Better This cover doesn't really leave much to the imagination, and I found that even I, an avowed YA convert, was a bit ashamed.

I thought I should tweet: "Read script; everyone dies but the cat" but I didn't want to kill any babies spontaneously. I pretty much don't want to kill babies, full stop. You may have heard of it; it's called Seriously, as I'm writing this, a posh German dude is looking askance at my book cover. Also I don't think that's what lavaliers look like?

Wellll, I guess it depends on what you consider a baby, actually. Let's just move on.) I also didn't win the lottery and therefore, when I was greeted at am by someone crying on the phone because they felt I wasn't putting enough effort into singling them out amongst the 200 people I directly work with, I was unable to say what I wanted to say, which was, "Cowboy up, pussy, and, by the way, I quit." Alas. I had a very tall daiquiri at the airport bar today! I'm not too worried; it's just some photos of blondes on the cover, and I hear they like blonde-haired people in Germany. I thought they were more straight up and down, like a rectangle on a chain? Hold on to your drinks, ladies and Brian; this is going to be pretty long.

I sent the following text message: "bee tee dubs, I am wearing sweatpants and will be traveling for 24 hours straight. (Okay, that's my only Aryan race joke of this entire post. You owe it to this book to review it in the classic book report style! " So I think I am going to marry the two styles, and thus, I offer to you: The by ACTUALLY FRANCINE PASCAL FOR THE FIRST TIME EVS Cover Story: It Gets Better Bff Charm: Have We Met? So I totally took this cover off, because I was actually concerned about being judged IN THE AIRPORT for my choice in reading material. In the interest of being me, I'm going to warn you right now: SPOILERS AHEAD.

Adjust hotness expectation levels accordingly." I wrote my first FYA post from a plane and then finished it in Germany, where I've never been. PROBABLY.) To be honest, guys, I'm confused about how to review this book. " But then another part of me says, "But you've built up a style with Sweet Valley; you can't deviate! Swoonworthy Scale: 7 Minus 10 Equals Negative 3 Talky Talk: Um, Pascalian? To my delight, the book underneath was a slim taupe volume that almost made me look respectable to my German Stranger Neighbor. Just like with a regular SVH book, I'm going to detail the whole plot, so if you DON' T WANT TO KNOW, LOOK AWAY.

Bonus Factors: Catching Up With Old Friends, Liz Sucking, Self-Awareness Anti-Bonus Factors: Emo-ass Shizz, Todd Wilkins, Liz Wakefield Relationship Status: You Can't Go Home Again Sweet Valley Confidential: 10 Years Later Number of Drinks taken: According to the current drinking rules, only about 14. Here are some drinking game rules I made up, just for this book!! Look far away; look to the babies I'm about to kill spontaneously by writing spoilers on the internet. So, Liz is in New York City, writing for a magazine called Show Survey (take a shot), which is like the Zagats guide, but for Off-Broadway shows. And then they spend the next month NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER, but rather talking about how guilty and shit they feel.

But I decided that was unacceptable, so I made up a new drinking game (details below), so the official answer is: FREE WINE. I mean, I guess you could take "Liz hates Jessica" as the main plot and then everything else is the sub-plot, but really, everything is sort of tied into the A Storyline. The Drinking Game Drink anytime: • You just want to punch Liz • Cara bakes something, or someone mentions the fact that Cara bakes • You think, "Really? Have those who do not want to be spoiled looked away?? Please tell me now: does ANYTHING sound more tedious than that? Liz moved to New York 8 months ago, which is coincidentally the time she found out that Todd had slept with Jessica. FIVE YEARS AGO: Liz gets sick with the flu and begs Jessica to accompany Todd to some SVU (Sweet Valley University, not Bensen and Stabler) party. Then they decide to not really speak of it again and make things go back to normal.

First Page on Which the Twins Are Described As "Blond, All-American," etc: page 9 Main Plot: We'll get into that under "The Deal." Sub-Plot Not In Least Bit Related To Main Plot: I'm telling you right now, there isn't one. I can only presume that the reason for this is that Francine Pascal actually wrote this book (did you guys know that she had never written a book before? I've been forced to think about Aaron Dallas kissing someone. Nearly THIS ENTIRE BOOK is devoted to Liz's emo bullshit. People actually care enough about Todd Wilkins to fight over him. There are endless descriptions of Cara's baked goods (which she creates to get over her depression of Stephen/Steven running around on her, but we'll get to that) and all I've had for sweets is Lufthansa's attempt at tiramisu, which was NOT GOOD. Jessica does, someone mistakes her for Liz, and she and Todd both play along with it. But I just want to specify: THEY SLEEP TOGETHER ONCE. Now, I know that being cheated on sucks balls, but I just again want to say: they sleep together ONCE.

She just came up with the concept and, occasionally, the over-arching plots, but she never put pen to page for the books. It's about me and the dude sitting next to me on the plane. I want to talk to him about it, cause Lisbeth is totes my boo, but at the same time if anyone had interrupted me while I was reading the Milleneum trilogy, I would have cut them with whatever was handy. Anyway, trust me, my story idea is FUCKING RIVETING. Except, I guess they decide they love each other, but they never mention it.

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