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Should you all vote for Hillary now to repeat for what this show says about the fairer sex (yes, but also because Donald Trump is a human turd dipped in orange paint with a speaker in it that reads facist manifestos in a tinny voice)? We just want to avoid the next six months of the same depressing talk with you.

I get that the “heart wants what the heart wants” but the heart wants donuts and strippers and hardcore narcotics and that is because your heart is a drunk two year old with the nuclear launch codes to your heart and no matter what the brain tells it, it’s just like “FU I can have another bottle of rosé and text him right now because he loves me guys, you don’t get it.”We get it.

And her brothers didn’t like how they looked last time. While they tried to play up how great Robbie was and what a d-bag Jordan was, it honestly seemed true. He can make decisions, even if they are horrible, like wearing a hot pink tie with that suit. I felt bad when Jo Jo said how everyone is rooting against them when she said it’s been rough going for her and Jordan.

Robbie is a boring, basic himself, but I’d be his friend. Maybe some Snapisodes (ghost emoji: lostangelesblog). We’ve won 11 National Titles to their adorable 2, both before 1941. Your grandpa thought they were irrelevant for most of his life and your dad has never found them relevant.

Want to know why the older brother plays in the NFL and dates an X-Man? I’ve never had a friend like Jordan, and not because he’s this bad guy. He can’t even tell you what city he will be failing as a sportscaster in. He called them the day of and didn’t even Face Time – but that might be because her mom just looks like a screengrab in that format. So, in other words, if Stanford has an argument, it’s that for the first half of the 10s, we haven’t given them a signature defeat. History would dictate it will happen in the next five meetings.

I know I bummed a lot of you out by writing so little.

I saw more sequined dresses than it takes to elect a decade of Miss Americas.

Jo Jo flushed all the goodwill of being a seemingly smart, calculating person down the toilet with each choice she made. Sometimes, like when I was in Amsterdam on business, there was just no way to see the show. My wife, the blonde genius forensic scientist on CSI: Future Breakups pointed out as much. Sometimes, the episode was so, so, so boring I couldn’t bring myself to squeeze a G of words out for you. They always make the underdog seem WAY better to the parents to create drama and then the first dude out of the limo is invariably that guy. Sometimes, honestly, I meant to and then just got busy, tired or all the other stuff that happens when you are not as young as you used to be. He eats a rejection burger and then she marries the boner. A couple quick notes before we go macro, because there is no way I am describing the play by play of a show that made no effort this year to create a compelling play by play. I started this thing I think in 2008, when blogs were a thing, and 8 years and millions of reads later – I’m a suit. Her sister, so little they made her sit off screen and not talk. Somewhere in between too much and too little is Jo Jo: the ideal amount to the tune of being worthy of a show about twenty men vying to wed her. Her mother, to be fair, lowered her daily dose of bacterias injected into various parts of her face and I was surprised at how much her face could emote.

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