Dating in a new city

A few years ago Jennifer wrote about leaving her friends behind because of a big cross-country move. My job involves interviewing all sorts of people, but I’m happiest with my nose buried in a book, working on home and design projects, or scouring thrift shops for great scores. Back in San Diego, my best buddy lived a couple of minutes away. She’d come over to preview my latest date outfit or I'd drop by to admire her new coffee table. At my wedding, she even joked to our table that if one of us were a man, we’d have gotten married ages ago.

My social calendar was exactly as full as I wanted it to be.

And it was easy to make new friends, because my job as an arts writer connected me with lots of cool people.

Here in Seattle, on the other hand, I’ve had an incredibly difficult time forging meaningful friendships.

I only have a few casual friends, and most of them are fellow transplants that I already knew from Southern California.

When you’re in your 30s, making new friends can be a Herculean task, especially if you work at home like I do.

Think of it as dating without the possibility of getting lucky.

You meet somebody new, daydream about your apparent chemistry, and hope they feel the same way.

Like dating, you can’t straight-out ask: do you like me? I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of brush-offs.

You have to read the signs and hope you’re not misinterpreting. I’ve had conversations that required my best interviewing skills to get through.

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