Dating older men has become fashionable
In my last post, I discussed the DOs and DON’Ts of handling rejection in dating.Rejection is an unavoidable part of dating, and the sooner you learn to put it in perspective, the better.However, that article dealt with rejection in general, the kind of rejection that happens to every person who’s single and out there making an effort. What do you do when you keep getting rejected, when you can’t get a date, can’t make it past the first date or dates?
With repeated rejection, you’re not only NOT getting what you want, you have no idea what you’re doing wrong.
People think it’s the not getting what you want that sucks. but it’s the 2nd thing, the NOT KNOWING, that eats people up. When we get rejected repeatedly but don’t know why, we assume the worst.
On some level, we assume we’re not attractive, not worth being with, or some other self-denigrating belief that makes us feel like shit.
Some will blame the other sex for their “stupidity,” others blame themselves for their inherent “unlovableness,” some keep trying the same ineffective techniques, some give up altogether. Start Problem Solving The first thing you do is stop blaming. Instead, see the problem for what it is, and begin attempting to solve it.
As I discuss in my books, don’t blame yourself and don’t blame others. There is no one, and I mean NO ONE, who can’t get dates or find a partner who’s attractive and well-matched to you.
I hear men bitch that you have to be gorgeous or rich to get dates, and I hear women bitch that you have to be gorgeous or young to attract men. But, statistically, most of us aren’t gorgeous or rich, and we still manage to get dates.
Poor and relatively plain people get dates and find partners. If you’re getting rejected repeatedly, the problem isn’t your looks, your age, or your income. you’re not getting asked out or you’re not getting a yes when you ask), you aren’t triggering basic attraction.
The problem is you’re doing something to knock yourself out of the running, and you need to figure out what it is. Here are a few basic rejection principles to get you thinking. You either need to improve your physical appearance, or you need to work on leading with your masculine side (if male) or feminine side (if female). they didn’t ask you out again or didn’t say yes when you asked), whatever basic attraction that person felt extinguished, either due to something you did to sabotage it, or simply because it’s not a good match. If you manage to get through several dates before being rejected, you’ve either done something significant enough to sabotage attraction strong enough to warrant multiple dates, or there is a lack of compatibility that has lessened their attraction to you.
Rejection Principles First, recognize your problem. Or, as one reader pointed out, you need to consider whether you’re aiming out of your league. If the former, you probably broke a date etiquette rule, e.g. The latter can’t be helped, but the former can be due to various fundamental dating mistakes.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating