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Follow @Canoe Lifestyle Is it ever ok to date a friend’s ex?
Luckily, I’ve never found myself in this predicament.
Unspoken “girl code” or not, my best friend and I have such differing taste in men that the thought of either of us dating each other’s exes seems absurdly comical.
However, go on Reddit’s relationship page or browse through any advice column and you’re sure to find stories from people who are either contemplating dating a friend’s ex, are heartbroken because someone is dating theirs, or are dealing with the fallout of either situation.
As you get older, the dating pool can start to feel more limited, however is it ever ok to hook up with the former object of your friend’s affection?
Before you make a move, here are a few questions to ask yourself: 1. Are they one of your closest confidants or merely a good acquaintance?
If you’re not particularly close, you may have a bit more leeway here when it comes to dating their ex (for example, if you’ve only met a few times and now they’re one of your 1245 Facebook “friends,” you’re probably safe).However, the closer the friendship, the more cautious you have to be.Dating your friend’s ex - especially if there are unresolved feelings - has to potential to implode even the best of friendships. What was the nature and length of their relationship? Did they date for a few weeks or a few years (or decades)? Although there are some exes I would be happy to see date one of my friends (I’ve dated a few really great guys that are lovely human beings, but with whom I had zero chemistry with), I’d feel really unsettled if a good friend started dating a serious ex-boyfriend of mine. Learning about why they didn’t work as couple will help you make a more informed decision as to whether you really want to risk dating this person. After all, what’s the point in compromising a friendship if the person you’re dating is going to scoff at your framed John Lennon print? Are you prepared for the friendship to change, or worse, end altogether?It’s possible your friend will be left feeling hurt and betrayed, like the terms of the friendship have been violated. However, beware that even brief, casual relationships can lead to messy, unresolved feelings. At the very least, things might get a little awkward between you and your friend.If you’re not sure how your friend feels about their former object of lust, gently ask. Depending on who initiated the break up and how much heartbreak was involved, this could impact how receptive your friend is to you dating their ex. However, are you prepared for the friendship to end?If there are still feelings there of any kind, it’s best to stay away. Also, it’s good to know some background of why they broke up. Although I believe in true love, fate and going after what you want, I also know that the hurt and fallout from break up with a good friend can be even more painful and long lasting than that of a failed romantic relationship.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating