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Not to gloat over my prowess at uncovering the world’s cringeworthiest beta males, but I think you readers will find it particularly difficult in this edition of Beta of the Month to stare at these train wrecks without averting your eyes. looking guy who earned his FIRST HUG (after four years dating) on the day he proposed to his girlfriend. But judging by that disrespectful boner protruding in his pants, I’m guessing this tiny amount of physical contact is the first he’s received since his umbilical cord caressed his neck. If your girlfriend can successfully parry your irresistible betaboy charms for FOUR FUCKING YEARS and reward you with a hardcore side hug the second you promise her an early retirement plan option, then it’s a good bet she can easily glide through another twenty years of sexless (that is, sexless with you) marriage once she has a ring on it and any incentive for good behavior from her has been removed from her consideration. We laugh at stuff like this because it helps ease our discomfort.
In the interest of fair and balanced shivving, maybe the guy is sniggering like a retard because he’s already boffed this chick and he likes the feeling of getting one over on her oblivious dad. It takes a special kind of beta male delusion to conduct one’s personal affairs in the belief that marriage will open the pearled pink gates of sex.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating