Help i dating someone with a ton of student debt
I have 150k (~7.5% APR) in student loan debt, which I acquired getting an MBA at a very expensive school.
Help i dating someone with a ton of student debt Adult dating in kenya
He says that he wants marriage to be a place of stability. Is he right to make us wait for two years before we get married?
He thinks that if my situation becomes volatile, it would affect his ability to pursue his dreams, even if it's just because he's investing a lot of effort and time straightening out my situation. I should tell you that he's a sweet guy, and he is actively trying to help me think up ways to pay down my debt because he says he wants to marry me. Is it that (1) he doesn't want to marry me, (2) he is a real worrier and could come up with 1MM reasons not to marry me that seem legitimate in his mind, (3) he's actually being self-centered and suffering from short-term thinking here, thinking about what's best for his state of mind now vs. I think that suffering regrets about losing something that's real --someone who genuinely loves you-- because of fears that (I think) are not likely to be realized is a bit, frankly, dumb.
Also, he's Chinese, and his parents had a lot of marriage issues centering around money (but not debt). I'm 33, so investing more time in this relationship seems a bit risky, especially if I do pay off my debt in two years (I'll be 35) only to find myself in situation #2, and another issue comes up. Please let me know if you'd like me to clarify anything. I definitely second the vote for pre-marital counseling.
Even if you accept that this is a reasonable statement on his part, you sound trepidatious and I don't think that's an ideal way to enter a marriage.
More generally, I see this as an issue of how each of you views a marriage/a life together (again, something pre-marital counseling could help you nail down).
He's right: part of marriage is the responsibility to take care of each other in good times and bad; but I do find it interesting that his solution to a potential problem is to wait until your debts are paid off for your life together to begin.
If you do lose your job before your two years of debt payment are up, will he leave you? You could get married in two years and then have a major health crisis that could lead to more debt.
Either of you might decide you want a new career that will require a drastic salary cut or more education.
You could have kids; a parent could get sick; a tree might fall on your house.
The point of this all is to say, what makes the potential problem of you losing your job after marriage different that any of these problems?
I'm not saying he's entirely wrong, because I appreciate that he is being honest and straightforward with you.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating