"I'd love to have sex with a black girl," read the message from David, 25, who had matched with me on Tinder. It's because of comments like these, along with the rampant misogyny that seems to fill the app, that despite a fair amount of matches, I have only been on two real-life Tinder dates.

And if they're not harping on my race and calling me "black beauty," then I'm often expected to respond to their pretty gross sexual messages or dick pics.

"I have a thing for black girls," said George, 28, a banker.

"You look like you have a bit of oriental in you," wrote Darren, 22, a musician.

I understand why people are interested in people like myself who look racially ambiguous.

Race, however flawed a concept, is used as a tool for understanding people. As humans, we are always searching for a way to identify, and things like race or skin tone serve as physical reminders of our ancestry and heritage.

But there are appropriate ways to talk with someone about their racial background, and then there are ways to come off like a clueless asshole. I'm black Caribbean and white—but I also identify as black, since I recognise that this is how many people view me.

By the very nature of our upbringings, mixed race people are more likely suffer from mild identity crises.A study released in the UK last year said that we often struggle to develop an identity for ourselves.The constant questioning over where we are from—"No, where are you from"—is fucking painful.Those who make guesses that I am Caribbean, Egyptian, Nigerian, or "Oriental," instead of just asking me, are just as bad.According to statistics from dating site Ok Cupid, black women are the least popular demographic online.Kevin Lewis, a sociologist at the University of California San Diego who analyzed the data, said: "Most men (except black men) are unlikely to initiate contact with black women." Lewis looked at interaction patterns of 126,134 users on the site, and although there aren't comparable figures for Tinder, he concluded that "racial bias in assortative mating is a robust and ubiquitous social phenomenon, and one that is difficult to surmount even with small steps in the right direction.

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